1. You know what they say - it takes a village to raise a child. How does this resonate/or not resonate with you?
Absolutely! Unfortunately I feel like many of us are lacking the village needed these days, and are expected to soldier on alone. However this often results in quite a lonely and uphill battle for motherhood! Many of us live away from family, or grandparents are working a lot longer so not as available to help, and a lot falls on our shoulders! If you think back to community living, with grandparents and other women around, there would have been a lot more hands to help, eyes on the children, other children to help play and entertain, people to help cook, even other women to help breastfeed (wet nurse) if you were unwell or unable to! These days, especially the last couple of years in complete isolation from Covid, everything falls on us! We are the entertainer, the cook, the cleaner, the breastfeeder, the one getting up all night and we are often working at the same time!
However, I truly believe we can cultivate and create our own village, with like-minded friends in the same stage of life as us - even if it needs to be online. To not feel so isolated, to know certain things are normal and happening to others, to bounce ideas off! A beautiful and simple example of this can be in the immediate postpartum, doing a 'Meal Train' for friends who have had a baby, so the burden of cooking is taken away from them for a few weeks at least! I am so thankful for my mumma tribe, they help care for my babies, are extra eyes on them when we go out, and some of them have even breastfed my baby when I have needed a break or have been unable to - and vice versa!
So my biggest advice would be to try and find your tribe, there's so many amazing online resources these days where we can find and connect with other mothers and hopefully meet up with them! I met nearly all my mumma friends just by sitting at the beach and the kids chatting, or going to the same cafe and just being brave enough to say hi! Of course, some friends have come and gone, or we hung out a lot for a season but have gradually drifted apart, but I have also found life-long friends this way, ones who have become way more than my mumma friends and are friends for life!
2. Can you share a time where a mug moment has influenced your motherhood journey.
This concept of a mug moment is so beautiful, and makes me giggle a bit, because I know that all our catch ups revolve around where we can get that blessed coffee hit! But our mug moments are often incredibly interrupted, running after children and having very half-hearted broken sentence conversations! But within these moments of chaos, there has been so many times when a friend (or myself) has broken down, and just been so thankful that a listening ear was on the other end! There has been countless mornings where I have turned up to our usual coffee spot, completely defeated and slightly catatonic, for a friend to just place a mug in my hand, take the baby/children away from me and allow me to catch my breath that i have been brought to tears by the beautiful mums in my life who just get it!
3. What would you say is the most surprising part about being a mother?
A few things come to mind.. firstly the relentlessness of it - nothing can prepare you for that, it's something you have to experience to understand. But on the flip side, the thing that always surprises me is that somehow, we get through it! So many people say to me - 'how do you manage 3 kids, I am struggling with one etc' and my reply is always, because we have to! We have to manage! But somehow, we do, and we get through each day, and most days are joyful and I love spending time with my kids, and some days are extremely hard, and it's those times I need to lean on my friends and accept help! Somehow also, we forget about those hard days, and they become some what of a fond and distant memory. I remember my husband and I were at breaking point with our first born who was verging on 12 months old and still taking us 3 hours every night to get to sleep, rocking, rocking, rocking... now I can barely remember those long days!!
And, I guess the other thing that never fails to surprise me, is how your heart can just continue to expand with each child! I remember thinking when I was pregnant with my second born, how will I love this baby? My first born is EVERYTHING to me, how will I fit in the love for her? But of course, it comes so naturally once they are here, and your heart just expands and expands again!
4. How do you go about being a Mum and a business owner?
Not very well most days! I find it quite hard to be honest, because I feel like I am never giving either area the attention and love that it needs. But I figure that my children are my priority, and I started my business so that I could work from home and be with them more, so I have to remember that! My business took off a lot better than I ever anticipated and I would love to give it more attention, so we are planning that at the end of the year, my husband and I will actually switch roles for a little while, and I will work whilst he does some stay home parenting, potentially whilst we travel Australia again for a bit..all in the pipeline anyway! My biggest tip - outsource what you can! Yes it will cost more money, but it will save your sanity and often saves you so much precious time!
To learn more, follow @lukamccabe or check out her business @boobtofood